Anxiety in Disguise: When Big Feelings Show Up in the Body
Children (especially younger ones) don’t always have the words to say, “I’m nervous about going back to school.” Instead, their anxiety might manifest as:
Morning stomachaches or nausea, especially right before school
Loss of appetite or eating less than usual
Difficulty sleeping, frequent nightmares, or early waking
Clinginess or meltdowns at drop-off
Frequent “I don’t feel good” complaints with no fever or other symptoms
Avoidance of school-related tasks like packing a backpack or talking about the new year
This isn’t manipulation. Your child isn’t pretending to be sick to “get out of school”—they’re genuinely experiencing discomfort. Their brain is triggering a stress response, which activates the “fight or flight” system in the body. And one of the most common targets of that stress response? The gut.
How Parents Can Help: Gentle, Supportive Strategies
Supporting an anxious child through the return to school means helping them feel safe—physically, emotionally, and socially. Here are some detailed strategies that can help:
Validate First, Problem-Solve Later
Kids need to feel heard before they can feel helped. It’s tempting to jump straight into reassurance (“You’ll be fine!”), but that can leave kids feeling misunderstood.
Try saying:
“It sounds like your tummy hurts when you think about school. That must be hard.”
“It makes sense that you're nervous. You’re not alone—lots of kids feel this way at the start of school.”
Then, after they feel heard, you can begin talking about tools to help their body and brain feel calmer.
Ease Into the School-Year Routine Gradually
Starting new routines abruptly can increase anxiety. A couple of weeks before school starts, begin:
Shifting bedtimes and wake-ups earlier by 15–30 minutes every few days
Practicing the morning routine (getting dressed, brushing teeth, eating breakfast, leaving the house) even if you’re not going anywhere
Visiting the school grounds, walking the route to school, or even meeting the teacher ahead of time, if possible
If your child is particularly anxious, you can create a simple visual schedule for the morning to help them anticipate what’s coming next.
Use Body-Based Calming Tools
Because anxiety lives in the body, body-based strategies often work better than just “talking it out.” Some helpful tools include:
Belly breathing (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4)
Wall pushes (pressing palms or back into a wall for 10 seconds to release nervous energy)
Weighted blankets at night or compression vests for some children during the day
A calming kit in their backpack (small fidget, calming scent roller, note from home)
Many kids respond to sensory regulation, so think about temperature (cool washcloth on the face), texture (squeezable items), or movement (jumping jacks or stretching).
Offer Comforting Morning Rituals
Creating predictability and connection during morning transitions can help your child feel anchored before heading into a busy school day. Some ideas:
Warm herbal tea or a favorite breakfast food to soothe their belly
A goodbye ritual like a handshake, a special wave, or a note in their lunchbox
A small grounding object (a stone, bracelet, or keychain from home)
Even just having 5 minutes of connection—reading a short story, rubbing their back, or sitting quietly together—can make a big difference.
Name the Feeling—and the Plan
When your child says, “I don’t want to go,” try responding with curiosity and confidence:
“What’s the hardest part about going to school today?”
“Let’s make a plan together. What would help you feel a little braver?”
Then remind them: “Even if you’re nervous, you’re still going to school—and we’re here to help you through it.”
Confidence + compassion is the key. You’re not ignoring their feelings, and you’re not letting the anxiety take over either.
Loop in the School Team
You are not in this alone. Teachers, school counselors, and even front office staff are often very willing to support a child who is struggling with anxiety. Consider:
Sending a brief email before school starts to explain your child’s situation
Asking for a soft start plan (e.g., arriving early, helping in the classroom, having a buddy)
Requesting regular check-ins with a counselor or trusted adult
Creating a 504 plan if the anxiety significantly interferes with learning
Proactive communication helps schools be more responsive—and reassures your child that a team is behind them.
Calming Herbs and Supplements: Gentle Integrative Options
For many children, adding integrative supports can make a big difference in how their nervous system responds to stress. Here are some that are generally safe and well-tolerated when used thoughtfully:
Magnesium glycinate: Supports muscle relaxation, sleep, and stress resilience. Often taken at bedtime.
L-theanine: An amino acid that promotes calm without drowsiness. Often used during the day for test or separation anxiety.
Lemon balm (Melissa officinalis): A calming herb with a mild, pleasant taste; good for anxious tummies.
Chamomile: Soothing and gentle; often used at bedtime to calm both mind and digestion.
Tip: We recommend the brand Traditional Medicinals for lemon balm, chamomile, and blends like “Nighty Night” because they use therapeutic levels of herbs that are more effective than other grocery-store teas.
Tip: Brew the tea with honey and cool it slightly for kids. You can also make popsicles or a warm thermos for the morning ride.
Probiotics: Because of the gut-brain connection, supporting the microbiome can reduce anxiety-related GI symptoms. We often recommend Ther-Biotic Kids as a reliable, multi-strain option.
Please talk to us before starting supplements—dosage and timing matter, and we’re happy to guide you further based on your child’s age, size, and symptoms.
When to Seek Professional Support
If your child’s anxiety is:
Keeping them from attending school
Disrupting sleep or eating for more than two weeks
Causing panic attacks or meltdowns
Making school or home life feel unmanageable
…it’s time to reach out for additional help. Evidence-based therapy (especially cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT) is highly effective for children with anxiety. In some cases, short-term medication or other supports may be helpful—and we can guide you through that process gently and thoughtfully.
A Final Word for Parents
Supporting an anxious child can be exhausting and emotionally complex. You want to reassure them—but you also know they need to push through. You want to keep them home when they’re distressed—but you also know avoidance often makes anxiety worse.
The truth is, there is a compassionate middle path. And you don’t have to walk it alone.
At Healing Arts Pediatrics and Bee Home Pediatrics, we’re here to support not just your child—but your whole family. Whether that means ruling out medical causes, recommending calming strategies, or helping you find a trusted therapist, we’re with you every step of the way.
If you’re noticing signs of back-to-school anxiety, let’s talk. A small conversation now can prevent a bigger struggle later—and help your child build the confidence they need to thrive.
